4321lates: (lazy eye)
2016-10-20 06:26 pm

(no subject)

Wearing $400 shoes & $26 in my bank account.

let them eat cake.
4321lates: (Default)
2014-05-03 10:31 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

I just wish i could hurry up & figure myself out already. I'm too old for this indecisive bitch shit.

4321lates: (Default)
2014-03-20 11:45 pm
Entry tags:

Fuck old man winter

I can't wait for things to get warmer as I've practically been hibernating like a bear all winter. Theres so much shit I need to do to get back to my old self & old routines.

Shoot

4321lates: (Default)
2012-11-21 12:39 am

your unspoken words burn like cigarettes into flesh

why is it that I have to be slapped in the face with these realizations so many times before I finally get it? The first time the light bulb flicked on & I looked around & saw that I was the only one in the room I should have believed that I'm on my own. I'm such a colossal fuck up that if I suicide bombed myself underwater I'd one day become a coral reef. this hell is in between kansas & oz...
4321lates: (Default)
2012-09-10 08:46 pm

(no subject)

Today is a beautifully cold day that I can't even contain my excitement. I kind of just want to curl up under this monochromatic grey sky & watch the clouds sail over me. I could even die a little happier if you were with me. whispering clouds of sweet nothings for you only for them to dissipate into the atmosphere before you could hear them...
4321lates: (Default)
2012-08-22 10:11 pm

(no subject)

How comforting. Checking yourself into a hotel with your two favourite bitches, Ginny & Voddy. Comfort in accepting that your life is meaningless, but you go through the motions because that's how it is. My eyes are open & I astral project so that I can watch myself rot from the outside in. Room service & exponential blood alcohol levels. It's a lovely feeling, that.

.
4321lates: (Default)
2012-02-18 10:53 pm

(no subject)

where I dwell within chaos, there's a bass guitar playing all sorts of sad chords, its almost like a melodic heartbeat, reverberating in the dust of my existence. I want to miss what normal felt like, but I can't even muster up a distant memory of it. & this bass line is so soothing.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-10-19 12:56 am

(no subject)

I keep seeing things crawling all over this place. crawling, slipping through my fingers. spots, dreams, insects, people.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-06-25 03:02 pm

(no subject)

i think of excess & destruction & youre the only thing on my mind. when we get high enough to shatter in a mil little pieces it cant be helped that pieces of you blend with pieces of me...


me & my study cast go back like babies on pacifiers. drugs work.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-31 12:50 pm

take your vitamins & fucking die

so whatever you do never ever put the gods out of your mind & take zinc on an empty stomach...

ebola & the black death mother fucking plague neatly wrapped & sent 1 way with a kiss to your abdominal region.

bang.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-30 10:13 pm

mama bear's ready to fly

waking up in an unknown foreign city & never looking back is rapidly becoming a dream i cant afford to let fade into darkness.

me & my city, we got irreconcilable differences.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-24 10:55 pm

lust fucking kills

i'm totally repeating tomorrow. especially if it means waking up with tanqueray & you. she makes me want to expel every organ in this fucked up body just so i can have space for her sickness. i'm so fucking shook that death has come in human form & i'm welcoming her.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-18 10:45 pm

(no subject)

it's not wise to abruptly quit therapy, but i've officially quit smoking.

good luck to moi.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-17 09:48 pm

dont be scared baby. it wont hurt, only break.

i guess you kinda like the way it feels. addicted to a connubial collaboration of fear & loathing with an extramarital affair with unhealthy self medicating. tell it how it is, baby. do normal people choose illicit substances as a substitute for human affection? my nose feels numb + im feeling you slowly bleed through my heart.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-16 05:14 pm

(no subject)

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin & have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

-Henry David Thoreau

three six five twenty four forward slash seven.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-05-01 08:51 pm

(no subject)

she's turning me into the most perverse being. all she has to do is exhale & I want to rip her skin off & fuck her bones to dust.
4321lates: (Default)
2011-01-05 11:04 pm

(no subject)

its abrasive. minimal gradual corrosion. inter-proximal cutting away so that you're left a peg instead of the person you once were. aint life grand.
4321lates: (Default)
2010-09-15 10:38 pm

I'm in dental school cause I like playing in your mouth

so in a fit of rage i pulled a bracelet off my hand & broke it.
now that its useless i recognize how much i had loved it...
sort of like how i feel about my heart.
4321lates: (ICONOMICON2)
2010-08-27 03:13 am

(no subject)

tonight i'm particularly numb,
they say cigarettes are like portable therapists & i just had my last session with freud on fresh hardwood floors
i like it how lights & xx chromosomes play tricks on me
when i tell myself that we could have it all
an empire of ashes, dust & ovaltine
4321lates: (Default)
2010-08-17 05:43 pm

(no subject)

emotional fucking masochist. Don't stop till you're veins are ripped out & dangling from your hands like string cheese. The realization of love no the realization of beingg in love with you has me so... on edge. Im not on a plane to paris.